WHEN THE EXPOSURE BLOOMS
nawa alviar horton
SANDERIANA is known for being SOLITARY*.
[even the footnote is SLUTTY and STRONGLY clawed, especially in the springtime]
I am FERTILIZED by two-parted sounds.
(i) More than woooorrrdddsss is all I ever needed you to show me, and you wooouldnnn’tt haaavee to saaaay that you love me, becaaauuuuuse IIIIIIII allllreeeaaadyyy knoooooow.
(ii) At 12PM Sunday mass the sound changes to ssseeccreeettss hushed whispers by hat wearing church ladies, we’re all catholic, but behind the gaggle of geese-y women; behind those white gloves they’ll pray for the sinner in me and pray to Our Father Art Thou in heaven to protect them.
I am listening into the bifurcated eras, past, future
1970s - Nanay makes sure I check into class. I did. Then ran to you.
2000s – Voice Mail, Nanay to anak: Hoy, why your not pinking uhp the pone? Makesureyougotoclass, ah! No galibanting ehcross town, TitaMarieThess said she see you sa palengke kissing an Orchid, bobo! You think that’s kyute, ah? Don’t embarrass me in pront of de whole kommunity!
she’s tawny yellow with fuzzy red brown
his throat is cream white and glossy.
my lips are raised and very dark purple.
When the waitress, the priest, the senator's wife, the city council’s son inquire about my lack of communication my husband tells them,
“Vida is from overseas, she can’t understand you.” He’ll say it in secret. He’ll say it while laughing in my face. I clench my teeth, smile my dimpled face into an open house, and nod pretending I have no idea what he just said.
P - PHILIP, my husband
P- PHILIPPINES, my country
For the last five-oh years I decided to stay quiet. Dormancy lasts six to nine months. My dormancy is rest.
Every rose has its thorn, every orchid has its cultivator.
I imagined him a hung man.
He measures the size of his cock the same way he measures his orchid’s columns. side by side.
A hanged man who’ve only ever hung men don’t know a thing about
H- HERMAPHRODITES have the characteristics of all sexes, hence, perfect. A being that bears both stamens and pistils, long threading roots forced into narrowing feet, and a confined heart that will not rub off easily.
I imagine us, feet in the air, head above ground.
not drowning, but in air, asphyxiated.
Figure 1. [a diagram of Vida’s sexual organs]
Figure 2. Houses both the male (anther) and female (stigma) parts of the flower
Figure 3. Houses the ma n Figure 4. Houses (stigma) Figure 5. Houses her
Figure 6. both ( ) and ( )
Figure 7. H i s
Figure 8. flower
Figure 9. H us h
Figure 10. s h h male female h
Figure 11. male female
Figure 12. s h h the male (anth r) and female (stiyma) parts of the flower
I can understand every frown of disgust. I can understand their translucent pink tomato’d children, sticky with emotional neglect. Those babies boomed, smelling like spoiled milk.
S for Sepals P for Petals L for Lips
nawa alviar horton, known as "Moonyeka" (they/them) is a mixed bakla-nonbinary Ilocano-Filipinx shapeshifter who takes form as an interdisciplinary performing artist, teaching artist, author, choreographer, curator, scholar, brujx and interdisciplinary artist. They have the honor of being the Artistic Director of The House of Kilig. Harana for The Aswang is an interdisciplinary performance work centered on the research of harana, a Filipinx serenade song form rooted in courtship and grief rituals. As a Jack Straw New Gallery Resident, Moonyeka & The House of Kilig will be opening a 6-week exhibition of this interdisciplinary performance research on May 31, 2024. nawa plays in the fields of autofiction and biomythographic writing practices and is working towards publishing their first book. Find them on IG @m00nyeka x @houseofkilig